


Might not be getting any chocolates

by fennharel



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Drabble, Hook-Up, I can't tag for my life sorry, M/M, McDonald's, Valentine's Day, just felix being a dick, lewd noises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:56:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9727757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fennharel/pseuds/fennharel
Summary: Felix usually got plenty of chocolates and got laid in Valentine's. But this year Felix had a job to get done and this year, he was with Locus.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Valentine's gift for my Yogi ♡  
> Victoria, I love you so much! I hope you have a good day  
> Happy Valentine's!  
> \--  
> Tagged for usual canon language and lewd noises.
> 
> Special thanks to Cath for helping me beta the shit out of this at like 2AM and giving me tips on how to write the characters! I rushed this so it might be a bit OOC by the end, sorry!!

Felix didn’t like Valentine’s Day. He thought it was silly, and he got sick every time he bumped into couples kissing, holding hands, and just being lovey dovey in general in the streets. But acting as if he  _ did _ like the holiday… Now  _ that _ was another thing. It made him look fun and charismatic, plus it always got him plenty of chocolates and got him laid, so the façade was worth the trouble. 

But this year it was different. This year, Felix had a job to get done and this year, he was with Locus. Locus the big, intimidating man. Honestly, though, he was like a huge, wild, scary rottweiler with a broken leg that wasn’t as intimidating when you approached and kicked it. Except Locus wasn’t a dog, and he didn’t have a broken leg. He was a man, and he had a broken mind; but, while kicking him in both the physical and metaphorical sense was not an option, he was far more delicate than he let on.  _ Fun to play with _ .  

Leaning on the wall in the alley they were hiding in, Felix sighed and grunted, catching Locus’s attention.

“This is  _ boring, _ ” he said, pushing himself off the wall and dusting off his back pockets.

“ _ This _ is our  _ job, _ ” Locus replied lowly, looking back away from Felix and to the street.

“Aren’t you hungry, though? I didn’t have anything to eat before coming here on our secret little mission.”

“Felix—”

“Ah, ah, ah!” He began quickly, holding out a finger to stop Locus from talking anymore. He made a sweeping gesture to the building across from them and tipped his head to the side, his expression exasperate d. “We are literally standing in front of a McDonald’s. You  _ do _ know they have stacks of pre-made cheeseburgers, right? We could just go, order some and eat them in a second,” he was adding exaggerated hand gestures to his words as if they’d make his argument any more valid.

“ _ Felix _ —”

“Also, there’s no better disguise than hiding in plain sight. You think we don’t look creepy as shit lurking in a fucking alley? ‘Cause if you don’t, then you’re even  _ more  _ fucked up than I thought you were. C’mon, big guy,” Felix gave Locus a playful slap on the shoulder, not helping his lips from stretching into a wide, sly smile as he walked past him and into the street, heading for the restaurant.   

Locus had no other option than to sigh and follow suit.

As they walked inside, Felix gestured greatly at one of the windows with an eyebrow raised, as if saying  _ this is a window, we can look outside from here  _ without necessarily using any words. Locus rolled his eyes and walked over to one of the tables close to where Felix had gestured, leaving him to his ordering and his burgers. 

And just as Felix had said, the moment he asked for his cheeseburgers he was handed them from a little stack and he  _ very  _ happily made his way to join Locus at the table, a big, bright,  _ arrogant  _ grin on his face. He sat with a loud thump across from his partner and started unwrapping one of his burgers.

“See? Instead of waiting outside looking like loonies, we can be sat in here with the AC and eating these…” he trailed off as he took a bite off the burger and made a soft noise at the back of his throat. “ _ Delicious—…”  _ He stopped as soon as an idea came to his mind.

He had suddenly remembered it was Valentine’s Day, and how he definitely wasn't going to get any chocolates this year. But why not have a little fun with his personal favourite toy? His puppy to kick, his partner to play with. Locus was so fun to upset and frustrate. Felix thought it was hilarious to get him angry and to retaliate; he loved pushing past his boundaries (except of course when it got too much and he actually had to deal with Locus’s moods, in which case he'd give Locus what he wanted and let him know he wasn't being serious to calm him down).

He gave his burger another bite and tried his best to hold back a smug smirk when the deep, long-lasting  _ pleased  _ noise he made got Locus to stop looking outside and glance at him, frown creasing his forehead. 

“What are you doing? Just shut up and finish eating.” He seemed displeased, Felix noticed, and he laughed. 

“Shut up? I’m just eating! You'd understand how  _ good _ these are if you got rid of that stick up your ass and had some, too,” he gestured, waving his burger in the air. 

Another bite and another noise. He moaned against the bread, tipping his head back to expose his neck and looking up. He let a soft whimper escape past his sealed lips as he placed the wrapper down.

“ _ So good,”  _ he sighed, swallowing the food and gasping for air. “Oh god,” he reached for another burger and quickly got rid of the wrapper.

Locus was facing the window, but his eyes were on Felix. He was frowning, that much was evident, but his lips were pursed. 

“Felix.”

“Oh  _ GOD  _ this is good!” That drew the attention of some clients, who turned their heads to look at them. 

Locus gazed around before looking back at his partner. “ _ Felix,” _ he snarled lowly, threateningly. “Shut up.”

“Why? You gonna do something about it?” He reached to nudge his leg with his own under the table and raised an eyebrow suggestively. Locus grunted, moving his leg away in response.

“Just finish eating your burgers, we have a job to—”

A loud, high pitched moan made Locus stop and frown deeper. Felix kept doing all these lewd noises while staring into his partner’s eyes, wolfing down his tiny burgers in a way that made Locus wonder how anyone could make eating a damn cheeseburger  _ vulgar _ . It was obvious he was trying to provoke him, but as much as he was trying to ignore it, it was working. 

Felix licked his lips and reached for his untouched beverage, curling his lips around the thin straw and tilting his face down a bit. He made yet another noise as he sucked and drank, and when he pulled away from the drink, he flicked his tongue at the straw. He didn’t allow himself to break eye contact, and he smirked smugly at the sight of Locus’s eye roll accompanied by a scoff.

But Locus wasn’t taking any more of Felix’s shit (he didn’t want to, and he really  _ couldn’t) _ , so he stood up, ignoring the man’s barking laughter, and made his way to the bathroom. 

He pulled out his com from his ear in order to wash his face without it getting wet and damaged. Sometimes he wondered how he managed to put up with Felix, but he calmed down every time Felix did him the favour to remind him that they were partners and needed each other. He wasn’t surprised when, after a minute or two, Felix strode in and joined him, smiling.

“C’mon, Sam,” he said, his shoulders bobbing the slightest in a half-assed attempt to hold his laughter in. Locus knew if he  _ wanted _ to hold in his laughter and look serious, he  _ would. _ “Need a hand with that?” Felix jerked his chin out a little and looked down at Locus’s crotch, gesturing at it.

Locus reached for a couple paper towels to dry his face and hands and looked at his partner through the mirror. “Code-names,” he grumbled, picking up his com and cleaning it with the moistened paper towels he had just used. “We need to get that bounty.”

“And you need to do something about that boner, dude,” Honestly, his jeans felt tight as well, but this was Locus-humiliation time. No need to bring his own twisted arousal into this. Felix approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We get the job done faster if we work together, right? We’re—”

For a change, it was Locus the one who didn’t let him finish speaking. He grabbed Felix and shoved him roughly against the sink, dropping his com which Felix followed down to the floor with his sight before looking back up at Locus looming over him.

“If it’ll make you just _shut_ _up_.”

Felix’s lips stretched into a smirk. He knew he wasn’t getting any chocolates this year, but at least he could get that second option fulfilled.

He wrapped his arms around Locus’s neck as he was hoisted up, drawing a hiss from his lips when he dug his nails into his tanned skin.

“Happy Valentine’s~”

**Author's Note:**

> My Discord nick-name is now a reality >:3c


End file.
